So tired of school. The mid-term break didn't really refresh me, all it did was make me yearn for the end of year break which means I have to get through 7 weeks of school and end of years. I feel that going through the motions and getting all routine-like is sick, I don't want to go through school like that. I know my actions- how I act and react to situations can be an indication of how deeply I walk with God and how 'christian' I am. I don't want people saying that because I break down and what not that I'm not a good Christian or something like that.

God has brought me through the first half of the semester. He will bring me through the rest of my University life. I need more confidence. I need to turn a blind eye to my environment around me because I feel my confidence crumbling in the face of all that's thrown at me. You think what you're doing is enough but somehow people are doing more than you. So you worry. You stress. And for what?

Eugenia is right. At the end of the day, is going through the motions, getting a degree/job really as important as what you do in regards to God with your life? It would be meaningless if we don't have that purpose, that purpose of doing it all for Him.

Clara is right. "If He will bring you to it, He will bring you through it."

Without God, family and friends, I think my life journey might as well end. I know it sounds morbid, but honestly, what are you living for? I know grades are important but how we live our life is equally important.

My family is so important to me. I took this mid-sem break to really talk to them and even now, though I feel as if I need to study for the Torts test (no matter how sickening it's becoming), it's become second nature to just get home and talk to my sister. I believe it's important because she's going through her Os Prelims which does have bearing on her first few months in JC. We have dinner as a family and talk. My studying isn't for more than a couple of hours, because I simply shut off at 10 and go watch my TV but honestly, I feel more fulfilled than if I had spent loads of time studying.

When I was doing my As, I also realised that. The need to study must be balanced with your other priorities. And once your walk with God is right, I believe He will provide the rest and means of which everything else will fall into place.

Thank you Lord, for your glory and your grace.
Your love is beautiful.